Somewhere Between Panic and PowerPoint
I feel caught in between two worlds, or everyone in tech is perpetuating a myth that there is a binary choice when you’re choosing the type of employer you want to work for.
I just don’t know if the following is true or not.
There’s only two choices.
Corporate hell, where innovation goes to die in a Confluence wiki.
Startup chaos, where sleep and weekends go to die for equity you’ll never see.
In either case people spread the idea that everyone wants to “move fast and break themselves”, and I’m not in that season of life right now.
I’m not into passion (if you’ve read this blog you’ll know that). I don’t thrive on pressure, but I don’t want to rot in a process either. I’d like a job that feels reasonable, and is that unreasonable?
When the Job Is Either Too Loud or Too Quiet
I’ve been in corporate roles that feel like being paid to lose the ability to code. A lack of challenge verging on a lack of work to do. We’d do sprint planning, all the ceremonies and a congratulations for pushing a config change to production. Nothing that is going to push the envelope and nothing that is going to be something to shout about come performance review time, but everyone was happy (apart from me). It’s work as sedation.
The alternative is a startup. It’s a different type of suffering, this is known as “hustle culture”. Urgency and panic importance is everywhere, but you know what isn’t (structure). No-one knows if you’ll survive the next quarter, and the work is unsustainable by design.
I don’t think it’s weak to dislike both of these eventualities.
The Myth of the Perfect Fit
Actually I’m not sure I dislike both of those modes of working. It depends on the day TBH.
Some days, I want autonomy. Other days, I want clear goals.
Some weeks, I crave quiet. Other weeks, I want momentum.
It’s possible, just possible that I’m not the issue here. It might just be the industry where we force everyone into one of two extremes neither of which are healthy.
I’ve been looking for a middle ground between these two and haven’t found anything which might satisfy me. I’ve kind of given up looking for it, and I’m happy working for a mega corporation these days.
It might be here that I’m making the big mistake,
The Middle Ground
I’ve spoken to people. They’ve reassured me that there is a middle ground. It’s not loudly advertised, and it’s not usually on the first page of LinkedIn. But it’s out there, and people might just be able to find it.
One of these:
A small, boring-sounding company with real customers and a tech-minded manager
A non-tech org modernizing their stack without asking for miracles
A dev tools team quietly doing meaningful work for other devs
A company where “work-life balance” isn’t just a tagline but enforced through actual resourcing and prioritization
You won’t know it by the salary. You’ll know it when your manager actually reads your pull request, and you’re not working late because someone else under-scoped the project.
The problem is finding such a company. Because….
The Interview Lie
I’m sure I’ve been here before. I’ve interviewed with many companies that appear to be nice during the process. You can find out about many of these on this blog.
You can’t ask the right questions, if you ask such questions they will be a non-hire signal for the company. No job for you.
The thing is, even if you ask the right questions they lie. If you lie in an interview process, no job for you.
The whole process is so asymmetric it’s a joke. But there you go.
So I feel that I’m constantly looking for a midpoint that just doesn’t exist. If you’re in such a company please do get in touch though, and maybe you’ll end up working with The Secret Developer.
About The Author
Professional Software Developer “The Secret Developer” can be found on Twitter @TheSDeveloper.
The Secret Developer is still looking for the Goldilocks job.